As most of you are aware of, I did not have a father while I was growing up. However, I did have someone to fill that role. First there was my grandpa. Despite what the other grandkids may have believed, I was his favorite. My grandpa was my buddy. He and my grandma raised me until I was almost six years old. I did not understand why I was not allowed to live with my mom like my sister did. I always thought that it was because I was not wanted. I thought it was because my wanted me "out of the way" so that she could pursue a relationship with Neverwas. I never spoke this belief out loud until I was in my 40's. Then one day I managed to muster the courage to ask my sister if she knew the reason. I learned from her that my mother really did want to take me with her. My grandparents would not allow it. Staying with my grandparents was done out of love for me, not because I was unwanted.
I also had another father figure to take take the place of Neverwas. This man was my Uncle Butch Roberts. My sister commented once that we (my mom, Bonnie, and Craig may not have survived without him.
Uncle Butch took care of our cars. I would like to mention here that he was also the best mechanic in the area. Whenever our $250 cars broke down Uncle Butch would either repair it or help us find a new one. He also taught my sister and I to shoot a rifle. Until recently I have never had a reason to know how to do this. I recently bought and air pistol to try to keep the squirrels away from my bird feeders. Thanks to Uncle Butch, I am a crack shot. I can ping them in the head from 200 feet. When my mom ended up in the hospital my Uncle Butch -- along with my Uncle Bill and Aunt Bonnie) was there to see that we were taken care of.
I also remember how Uncle Butch would come to our house to eat his lunch. We had a coffee can wrapped in blue paper that sat on top of the refrigerator. It simply said "Butch's Lunch." Everday he would drop a fifty-cent piece into it. I am really not sure why he felt the need to do so. Those fifty-cent pieces really added up and bought us groceries at the end of the month. Another example of how we were able to survive thanks to my Uncle Butch's kindness.
And now for the Big Brother. I never really had anyone to stick up for me when I was a kid. I was teased a lot in elementary school. I was tall (the tallest kid at Beaser Elementary School. I also was the only kid that did not have a father. This was in the 1960's when single mother household were a rarity. I think that this may be part of the reason for my intense sense of justice. I cannot tolerate when people are treated unfairly.
The programs of AA and NA have supplied me with the big brother that I always wanted. His name is Jeff R. and he ALWAYS "has my back." He has proved this on more than one occasion. A couple of years ago he got up and spoke when I was receiving my NA medallion. He said, "I will always stick up for you. I would die for you." WOW!!! I love my friend Jeff as though he were my brother by blood. He is my brother in recovery. Another instance of how my Higher Power has placed an amazing person in my life.
There was a time quite recently that I had considered entering the dating scene. Due to a horrible experience about six or seven years ago, I have been scared to do this. My roommate Scott told me that if I chose to do this he "wouldn't ever let anything happen to me." I eventually decided that not only did I have no interest in dating, but I did not have the time for it. I am so grateful to Scott and his friendship. He is like a big brother. His parents have also welcomed me into their family. It is kind of like having parents again. It is wonderful when I get to sit down to a family dinner with Scott and his family.
Today I am grateful for the gifts that recovery has given me. The Promises have all come true for me.
Until next time . . .
No comments:
Post a Comment